california girls we’re inconsolable

dreams of doom the visions wont stop

https://www.instagram.com/p/CCDx6pinhn0/

The hoes are unimpressed with your sarcastic detachment, and are enchanted with my sincere wonder. Writhe like the worm you are.

Too many of you think you wouldn't be corrupted by the amulet.

travelling back to the paleolithic era to explain to a neanderthal that in the future there will be food that is simultaneously disgusting and also the best tasting food you've ever eaten. the neanderthal nods and says "oh yeah we have that" and leads me to a clearing in the woods where a perfectly normal mcdonalds sits.

it's strooping absolute wafel

"grackle" really is a perfect name for a bird. knocked it out of the park w/ that one

gonna start saying “you couldn’t make x movie today” but for reasons unrelated to political correctness

you couldn’t make Home Alone 2: Lost in New York today because the strict airport regulations put into place after 9/11 make it nigh impossible for a child to simply walk onto the wrong plane

You couldn’t make American psycho today because Christian Bale would actually kill Jared Leto for real

Tossing Another Log Onto The Fire voted greatest activity uncontested 50,000 yrs

When that shit gets crackling. Good God brother

There was a group of angels at the bar tonight. Super intense vibe, but they kept to themselves and didn't disturb the other patrons, except for one point when they all suddenly burst into cheers and ordered a round for the bar. I asked what they were celebrating. They told me that for a split second all of the air molecules bounced petfectly into one corner of the room. It's like their version of the dvd screensaver.

Death is a natural part of life. Not your death though. Your death is gonna be super fucked up.